The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School
January 4, 2021
In this encouraging guide, Icard (Middle School Makeover), a contributor to the Washington Post’s “On Parenting” column, helps parents navigate the strange waters of having middle school–aged children. She shares “what works best in keeping parents and kids connected,” introduces the “BRIEF” model for conversations (begin, relate, interview, echo, and provide feedback), and walks readers through conversations on 14 topics, among them criticism, reputation, and sexuality. In the chapter dedicated to technology, Icard recommends parents hold a family meeting to “create a philosophy about what role we want technology to play in the family.” The chapter on money suggests parents explain that “when an advertiser can make you feel bad enough about some part of yourself that you’ll buy their product to fix it, they make more money.” Icard convincingly builds the case for beginning to talk about crucial issues before a child turns 14: “You’ve got to start practicing ways to have balanced, thoughtful, rational conversations early and often so that skill gets cemented in your child’s brain.” Parents at a loss about how to start and maintain important conversations with their growing kids will find much of value in these strategies. Agent: Anna Sproul-Latimer, Neon Literary.
February 1, 2021
With over 16 years working with middle schoolers and their parents, running leadership programs and conferences, and leading an online group with over 6,000 parents, Icard (Middle School Makeover) is uniquely qualified to tackle the anxiety-inducing subject of conversations with junior high students. Oversized glasses, a bowl created mullet cut, and orthodontia were parts of her adolescent experience, so Icard understands on a personal level the awkwardness of the tween years. At age 11 many children start pulling away from their parents and cut down communication. Likewise, parents' desires for children to be safe and savagely smart in the face of danger is often at odds with middle schoolers' need for separation. A few things are nonnegotiable in these years: sleep, autonomy, unconditional love, and dignity. With the exception of sleep, conversations are a crucial part in providing these "essentials." Following the BRIEF Model (Begin Peacefully, Relate, Interview, Echo, Feedback), Icard provides sample scripts and tips for conversations that best happen before the age of 14 due because of cognitive development. VERDICT This volume will provide help for communicating with middle schoolers about the things that matter.
Copyright 2021 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.
February 1, 2021
Author, educator, speaker, and mother of two Icard (Middle School Makeover, 2014) remembers her own awkward adolescence vividly. These memories have inspired her work helping middle schoolers and their parents thrive and stay connected. Here, Icard guides readers through this challenging time, when kids suddenly seem to transform into different creatures and start to pull away. She shares the guiding principles for successful conversations and helpful ways to improve talks with your tween as well as alerting caregivers to common "conversation crashers." From there, the book can be read cover to cover, or as Icard suggests, in a "Choose Your Own Adventure" style, jumping around to whichever topic is needed at the time. This all may sound overwhelming during a time when children seek independence and connecting with them seems hopeless, but Icard has managed to create an incredibly user-friendly and straightforward guide. Fourteen by Fourteen is a must-read for caregivers of adolescents, providing readers with the necessary tools to talk to their tweens and sustain happy and healthy relationships.
COPYRIGHT(2021) Booklist, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.